The Hoaspital Visitor.
Margaret M. Osoba
Hullo there. Aye its yersel',
Ah' must say-- ye’re no lookin' well,
Ye mind me o' ma uncle Johnnie,
Him that died o’ the pneumony,
Yer stomachs bad?--like cousin Ricky,
Aye he ended up in the "Vicky"
Wi' tubes inside, an' a’ aroon--
it took six men tae haud him doon.
Jist mind yersel' an’ no end up Bammy,
Like ma Grannie's Uncle Sammy.
He startit sleepin’ oan the table,
Ay,sure, he wis pit intae Gartnavel.
An' take ma cousin’s brother’s wife,
puir soul, she hudnae much a life.
First her feet an then her bowels,
My, ye should huv heard her howls!
As fur masel--whit ah' could tell:
- Ma life has jist been wan long hell.
Wi' diarrhoea an' constipation,
an tonsils, fu' o' inflamation.
An' corns, an’ bunions-- see ma feet?
They gie me gyp---ah' hate this heat,
As fur ma eyes an' ears an' mooth,
Ah've suffered fae them since ma youth.
An' doacturs---they don't want tae know,
No' even listen--they huv tae go,
Mine said, "ah' huvnae time enough,
Tae listen tae a’ this mournfu' stuff”,
He's always fallin’ oot wi' me.
An' says "For God's sake let me be”,
Aye jings, but it's an awfu' life,
Jist fu' o' sorrow, toil an' strife,
We'd be better aff at thirty eight,
Ta’en up there tae the golden gate,
As fur me, Ah'm ready tae go,
Lifes no' worth livin' doon here below,
Did ah' ever tell ye, speakin' o’ "In Memoriam",
An uncle wance worked in the crematorium,
Very interestin' tae hear him talkin'
Aboot boadies that sat up… jist gawkin',
My ye look awfy--touch an' go
Ah widnae say ye've long tae go,
Here the day, gone the morn'
A peety we wis ever born.
Whit's that ye say--but life can be,
A thing o' joy an' fun an' play,
That's your opeenyin-- no mine,
Don't kid yersel' yir dae'n fine.
You an' me, we're gettin auld
We feel the heat, we feel the cauld,
Ye’re lookin' tired, a wee bit pale,
did ah no’ hear ye gie a wail ?
But never fear. If ye want tae know,
Aboot ma illness heid tae toe.
Ah'll tell ye a' thur is tae ken,
-Ah'll visit ye ower an' ower again,
But noo it's time fur me tae go.
Ah've cheered ye up…. so cheerio...